the eyes of Love.

after being prayed for the other day, i was so impacted by a word from the Lord that i was given. the word was: to break the mirrors i look at myself through and to let HIS eyes be my mirror. that i must stop checking to see if i measure up. i will not fail Him. wow. i need this so desperately in my life. i started journalling later and i asked myself the question: who is this that i am to fix my eyes on? this is what flowed from there...

"He is my Jesus. the Most Radiant of all. the best, most kind person to ever grace this earth. He is the One who captures hearts with one touch of His presence. He is Faithful and True. the Mighty Warrior. the Gentle Shepherd. the One who cares for the least and humbles the great. He is my Savior and the Savior of all. He is the Repairer of broken walls and shatterd hearts. He is the One who every heart longs to belong to and the One who has made a way for every heart to be fully satisfied...forever. He is Alpha and Omega. the One who was at the beginning and will be at the end. He is the Great King. the Lover of my soul. the Restorer of my broken heart and the Healer of my life. the One who calls me with a love sweeter than honey. who makes me more secure and safe than any fortress. who guards my life with His mighty arm. and daily invites me into more life, more fullness, more joy, more peace...into oneness."

how is it that he loves ME?

"...because i have been his hearts desire since the beginning. the one he has longed to see freed, consumed in his love and made whole. i am His beloved. my heart is radiant before his eyes. I am altogether lovely. with one glance of my eyes he is filled with love and his heart is consumed. with ONE glance. everytime i turn to him, looking to his face, heaven rejoices. because we are the desire of his heart. because our oneness with Him is the longing of his heart. my oneness is what drew the Radiant King to earth to live as a poor, ordinary carpenter. to give everything he could.

He came not to bring home a nothing ragamuffin, a broken mess, a weak sinful beggar to be His. he came to bring home his Bride. that is always how he has seen us.

in my eyes i am so many unfortunate, flawed things. BUT in the eyes of Love i am His lovely, breathtaking bride who he has moved heaven and earth to bring HOME.

i MUST turn my eyes from the mirrors that reflect the flawed beggar and look into His eyes and see who he has loved since before time."

everyday i am choosing to look into the eyes of Jesus.

spring.

My Beloved spoke and said to me,

“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.

See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.

Flowers appear on the earth;

the season of singing has come,

the cooing of doves is heard in our land.

The fig tree forms its early fruit;

the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.

Arise, come, my darling;

my beautiful one, come with me.”

Song of Songs 2:10-13

it is spring time in south africa. and i am thankful!

zimbabwe or bust!

The big news for the month is that I will be returning to...

ZIMBABWE!

(for a week, Oct. 20-27th)

As you might know, I spent two months last year in Chinotimba, a vibrant community in Zim, during the outreach phase of the church planting school. Since the day I left I have been praying and hoping for an opportunity to go back and visit all the wonderful people I met, and to encourage the house churches that my team and I planted while we were there. The time has finally come! Mike and Kalyn are taking a small team to visit Munya, the leader of the All Nations church plant. He is an incredible church planter and has started a movement in Chinotimba that has caught like wildfire! They have dozens and dozens of house churches that have been planted in this past year alone! This means they have dozens and dozens of house church leaders who need to be encouraged and stengthened! That is where we come in. We are going for a five days to pour into these leaders! I will also get to connect and spent time with all my friends from last year. We will also spend two days in a nearby All Nations church plant in Zambia encouraging that team as well. We leave the 20th and return the 27th of October.

I feel so blessed that the Lord would open the door for me to go back to Zim! I am really believing that the Father will continue to provide all the funds I need for this trip. I have some money saved that will cover much of my $500 plane ticket, but visas are very expensive for Zambia and Zimbabwe (and I have to have one for each country!)

If you would like to give toward this trip, I would be beyond blessed!*

*You can make checks out to All Nations and attach a note that says "Preferred for Whitney Caldwell" and mail to:

All Nations Family, Inc

c/o Walsh Washburn

5360 College Boulevard Ste. 100

Overland Park, KS 64030

I am eagerly awaiting being reunited to baby Jeff and to the brothers and sisters/spiritual sons and daughters God has graciously given me in the beautiful nation of Zimabwe!

time to celebrate!

extraordinary things become so normal around here...
 
everyday i am seeing miracles and breakthroughs.  it becomes second nature...OF COURSE God would do that...He is just so good and He loves his people so much.  i started thinking about what amazing fruit i have seen in last week alone and it hit me how numb i have become to the mighty working of God’s hand.  And that is just not okay with me.
so its time to celebrate! 
::a well watered garden::
 
many of you have been praying for mandla*, a 12 year old boy who ran away from home and has been living under a tree with some of his gangster friends. I mentor his sister and spend time with his family often. I have been praying and praying and PRAYING for Mandla and for his family. this family has faced the tragic and harsh reality of this world. the 4 children in this family are often split up and sent to live with various friends and neighbors in Masi when their mother leaves for months at a time. but, thank God, the reality of this world is NOT my reality. my reality is found in Christ, who defeated the evil one on the cross. I have had such faith to believe for the miraculous for mandla and his family. AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE SEEN WITH MY VERY EYES. as i was sitting with their mama one day, she told me, with joy in her eyes that i can not describe, that he has returned home. after months and months and month and months of not seeing her child (when she would see him he would run from her) she has been reunited with her son! he is staying only a few shacks down from her tiny shack.  it only gets better.  as i was sitting with mandla's sister the other day, she tells me that her mother is moving.  i immediately began thinking to myself, "oh no. here we go again.  she is leaving her kids once again."  but she continues explaining that she was just looking to move to a bigger shack so that all of 4 her kids could stay together with her.  "WHAT?!" this is a miracle, truly.  not only that, but i am seeing so much change in this mama, hope and life filling her once dejected and desperate heart.  she has even began selling chickens to support them.  out of the wildnerness, God is making this family into a well watered garden full of his peace and light.  i am in awe.    

::break every chain::
 
Jesus, the Breaker of chains.  my dear friend, mandisa*, knows this to be true.  the back story is glorious and i will have to write a whole post about it soon.  mandisa has experienced a intense spiritual and emotional bondage.  she has lived under this oppression and often be consumed by this evil.  one afternoon, while spending some time with her little sister and her friends at her house, mandisa was once again consumed by this demonic oppression.  we got to sing and pray God's deliverance over her.  we all felt the same thing: "The Father wants you to be set COMPLETELY free!"   we prayed and prophesied into her life.  i began spending time with her weekly, talking and getting to know each other.  the other day she began telling me more about this oppression in her life.  i once again told her that God wants her to be set free!  She said, "Oh I know he does.  Before I felt like I was in a cage, but now I feel that I am getting set free."  WOW. just like that.  Jesus is the Breaker of chains and He is the one that comes to set us free from every thing of the evil one that would try to bind us up from receiving his abundant life and love!  praise Jesus!

::a breath of fresh air::
i met this woman through a friend of a friend.  little did i know when she joined us one day for a bible study, that we would form such a sweet friendship and that she would be such a woman of peace.  she has such an intense hunger for God and to know his truth.  she does not want religion, rules, empty ritual.  she wants Jesus.  she has opened up a group with her boyfriend and his household.  i can't even explain to you what a breath of fresh air these people are to my life.  in a culture so deep in empty religion, they are a rarity.  people who just want to seek God, to know his truth and to live out a life of following him.  we get together to discuss the bible and drink coke once a week.  i learn so much from this "church," as they call themselves.  it is so natural for them to take what we discuss and do it in their lives.  they are a house of peace and Papa has big things for them.  wow.  thank you God for these refreshing friendships.
 

::GO, therefore..::
 
oh i am missing my dear, dear, dear friend nosipo* who moved to capricorn.  i miss her friendship and i miss bringing the kingdom to children in masi with her.  but what a precious gem she is.  what joy to the small seeds i have invested in her life bearing such amazing fruit!  i got hang out with her the other day.  she told me about the kids she has been reaching out to near where she stays and about how she is starting a group for them to come and learn about Jesus!  Papa is bringing his glorious kingdom to capricorn through his sweet, faithful daughter!  God is so good!
 

 
so that is what I am celebrating this week!  i know God is pouring out his kindness, goodness, and faithfulness in your life...so what are you celebrating this week?!

thank GOD he is GOD.

i have been learning a few things afresh lately...

1. God is who he says He is

2. God can do what He says He can do

3. I am who God says I am

4. I can do all things through Jesus

5. the Word of God is alive and active in me

(from beth moore's study, Believing God.)

there have been many moments lately, where in past times, i would have panicked, freaked,and frantically found my own solution. but it has been a different story in these past weeks. i have been letting the truths above SOAK into my heart and my spirit.

i am a DAUGHTER, not an orphan.

i am not left alone to fend for myself.

Papa God has every resource in heaven made ready for me...if i will just ask...with a bit of faith.

here is one glimpse at a moment in my life that can be explained as nothing but a sweet kiss from the Father...

its time for kids club. the prayer shack is packed (and i mean PACKED) with excited, energetic, crazy kids. i haven't seen so many at kids club in a long time, nor have i ever seen them so bursting with energy. the person coming to translate for me has bailed. the backup can't come. this is not the first time this has happened in the past two months since my unbelievably amazing friend, Nosipo*, who was helping me with kids club, moved to a nearby township. i step outside the prayer shack to lift my hands to the heavens and cry out for a miraculous provision of a translator, hoping someone will just materialize. nothing. so i say, "okay i am starting this club in faith that someone will just pop in the door." i gather the children in a circle and begin the club...

suddenly, the door comes swinging open and Nosipo comes busting through..."SURPRISE!" all the kids begin cheering in celebration because they are so happy to see her. but no one is cheering louder than me. i am filled with laughter and tears, as the reality hits me...

i am a DAUGHTER and my Papa loves taking care of me!

i get to rest in his strength, in his love, in his grace all my days.

"Let the Beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for he shields her all day long. the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders." Deuteronomy 33:12

let Papa God take care of you today! trust him to be who He says He is. thank you God!

*name changed.

birthday joy!

a time to celebrate...

thursday i was driving around masi not exactly sure where to go. it was a rainy, windy day so not many people were around to hang out. i wasn't paying attention and i turned down the wrong street. i thought to myself, "dang it. i always turn down this wrong street." but then up ahead i see one of my favorite mamas walking down the street. i stop to give her a lift. we begin talking about our days when she tells me...

its her birthday! she then shows me her ID: September 1st 1961...IT'S HER 50th BIRTHDAY!

joy fills the car as we begin celebrating... and hooting & hollering :) the reality hits me. this is a BIG deal! so of course, off we go to the nearest store to get this mama something sweet for her happy day!

we get to the store and mama picks a chocolate cake. it was not quite in my budget, but YES! of course this mama needs a cake for her 50th birthday! as we take the cake up to the register we are calling out to anyone who will listen... "its HER 50th birthday!!!" and mama is showing everyone her cake with bursting happiness!

as we pull up to the area she lives, she is calling out from the car for her friends to come and join her for a cake and celebration. everyone is pumped to celebrate her! we then see two kids i am mentoring who are neighbors with mama. they insist that i come in for the party (even though i had an appointment soon, i joyfully agreed!) we go parading through the wetlands to mama's shack; singing, dancing, laughing, cheering, waving our jackets in the air like flags...it is time to CELEBRATE!

people begin pouring into the house, all the kids leading everyone in singing and dancing! they know how to party :)

oh i love these beautiful ones. i have helped those two kids i mentor start a kids club with their friends, who just happen to be all the little ones that came to the party. SO fun to get to share life with these sweet ones that i love so much!

my favorite part of the party was when mama asked me to take a pic cutting the cake with her...wedding style :)

she told me at one point that this was her first time in all her life to have a cake for her birthday. wow. i can't explain how honored i felt that the Lord would lead me to this mama on her special day. i had no idea what to do that afternoon, but the Lord knew. He loves this mama. she is His daughter. she has given her life so fully to Him these past few months, and He wanted to CELEBRATE HIS PRECIOUS ONE! what an honor to be able to help give this mama a gift from the Father on her birthday. i told her that very thing: that it was His idea for this celebration to unfold and it was His gift to her!

thanks Jesus for letting me be a part of that day and for making my life so sweet!

i am humbled.

my heart is FULL.

even as i write this post two weeks later, my heart is FULL.

full of joy. full of love. and full of thankfulness.

i often think, "how could the Father love me so much that he would give me my sister?"

i am thankful beyond measure that the Father made a way for her to come and visit me here in cape town!

our 10 days together were packed with adventures, laughing, talking, dance parties, more talking, sister crafts, visiting my friends & kids, laughing, laughing and even more laughing.

there is nothing like being with my sister. we really are one. she knows me like no one else does...the deepest parts of my heart, where i have come from, the things i dream for. i don't have to explain myself, i know she loves and treasures me. its BLISS being with my sister!

i took some "holiday time" while lauren was here and got rested up! it was such a glorious time getting to take a step back, slow down and enjoy being with my sis.

i brought laur along to some of the kids clubs i lead in masi...of course they LOVED her immediately. it was so fun to bring my sis along with me in my normal life, for her to get to see what i have been doing here. it was that much better loving on these sweet kids with my sister by my side. what BLISS!

and oh there is something about being with my sister that is so inspiring, so stirring. the way she sees life and Jesus with such passion, joy and wholehearted desire. i LOVE it! i love the things she draws out of my heart! oh the BLISS!

isn't she the cutest?! (celebrating her 23rd birthday!)

thank you Jesus for my sister and for our holiday of all holidays!